


How A Story Ends?

by spookyleo



Series: Hold Me Tight (Or Don't) [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, I just feel so much, Major Endgame Spoilers, Multi, Not A Fix-It, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Endgame, endgame really said stony rights, no beta we die like men, this is a drabble of emotion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 13:26:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18624166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookyleo/pseuds/spookyleo
Summary: Steve had seen the gleam in Tony’s eyes, illuminated by the arc reactor. Seen it, seen it right there in the other man’s eyes and felt his chest swell like there was a dam inside that contained his love and it was overflowing.





	How A Story Ends?

**Author's Note:**

> Out of all my works, this is not the one I thought I'd ever come back to.
> 
> This is a part two, but it reads fine without reading the first part. It's inspired by the song "hold me tight or don't" by fall out boy, based on the idea of these two overthinking everything like the nervous little shits they are. replaying stuff in their heads - or, in BARF, but that was more part one. 
> 
> Most importantly though - this has MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS. i put it in caps so no one misses it and yells at me. I'm a good boy, after all.

It wasn’t like Steve had access to BARF technology, but he still relived the moment that Tony died.

Over and over and over, replaying the torn-up skin on the man’s face, the charred ear and the weeping chasm of flesh down his neck, leading into the arm of the wrecked iron man suit. He replayed it, the way Peter had cried, the way Pepper had kissed him on the cheek and told him it was okay, the way the blue light of life in the centre of Tony’s chest blinked out as his eyes unfocused. The way Steve had to stand and watch, because he wasn’t part of Tony’s life anymore. He hadn’t been for a very long time.

There was an utter heartbreak to the whole affair, a melancholy to the whole ordeal of Tony and Steve’s friendship, especially during those final few days. It felt pure to look into Tony’s deep eyes and see a smile returned in his gaze, it felt right and holy and like it had been ordained by God himself. It felt right, but it hurt because there had been so many years where that hadn’t been the case.

There had been a time when Steve had thought that him and Tony had been more than friends – more than a booty call, at least. The way that he felt when they were together – he felt like they could conquer anything. And they’d do it together. Some nights, when they’d still seen each other, back before Bucky and before Steve kept secrets from Tony, they had laid together in bed, in the dark in the middle of summer with just a sheet around them. Steve had seen the gleam in Tony’s eyes, illuminated by the arc reactor. Seen it, seen it right there in the other man’s eyes and felt his chest swell like there was a dam inside that contained his love and it was overflowing. In that moment, he almost convinced himself they’d fight in each other’s corners forever.

Steve had messed up after that.

If he thought about it, he could imagine hatred in Tony’s eyes instead. He could see heartbreak, and betrayal, and unimaginable pain. He could feel the bones in his chest ache thinking about how he had caused it, and it felt like his heart would shrink in, cold and anxious and shaking. Even though after the snap, they’d fought together. All had been forgiven, somehow. He wasn’t sure whether to be grateful or not.

Steve couldn’t sleep at night, sometimes.

“What are you thinking about?” Peggy would open those big brown eyes of hers and narrow her eyebrows at him. She was his endgame. She was the one he’d wanted to be with for so long, and it was as good as he’d expected it to be, but there was something inside him that saddened at what he had lost in all his attempts to get back to her.

Sometimes he’d shake his head. Push a lock of her hair behind her ear and tell her to go back to sleep. He’d slept for 70 years, after all. Somewhere, in the very same timeline, he was sleeping – maybe at the bottom of the arctic ocean, but he was sleeping.

This time, though, instead of tossing and turning and torturing himself over all the ways he could have saved Tony, sacrificed himself maybe, sacrificed this time with Peggy maybe, left the snap in action maybe – instead, he frowned at his wife.

“He was on the television this morning,” Steve said.

“Again?”

Steve nodded. Chuckled.

“What did he do this time?”

It was well into the 1980s at this point. Steve was greying, and Peggy looked as beautiful as the day he’d first met her, and she’d cut off contact with Howard Stark a long time ago. Not just because he was an asshole, but because Steve couldn’t keep existing in that time as Cap, or something bad would surely happen. Surely. He’d seen Back to the Future. In cinemas.

But it meant that Steve got to watch Tony Stark’s car crash of a teenage life through media outlets, and this time the nineteen year old had literally crashed his car – into a swimming pool, of all places.

He wasn’t hurt, and Peggy laughed as Steve told her about it. “Idiot,” she grinned, and Steve laughed too. Tony had a life in front of him, a family, a wife, a daughter, everything that Steve had now. Tony still had life in him, and Steve hoped – with everything in him – that maybe, somehow, in this timeline it would be better – and maybe longer – than in the last.

“Let’s get some sleep,” Peggy leaned to kiss his shoulder softly. The lines around her eyes showed as she smiled. Steve could hear their daughter snoring in the next room.

He put his arms around Peggy and kissed her soft brown hair as they fell into rest.


End file.
